Feeling a bit blue most of today, until my son, E, gave me a Chanucah present, a book called Lost in Translation, by Charlie Croker (wherein the 'Acknowledgements' page gives thanks, inter alia, to one Norman Geras).
A few samples:
On a luggage trolley at Singapore airport:
Not to be removed from Crewe Station
Sign on a metal-detector scanner in France:
People with peace-maker do not pass
We have nice bath and are very good in bed
Financial institution in Detroit:
Ask about our plans for owning your home
For a last-minute Christmas present, you could do worse.